The Art of Fighting Over a Carton of Milk
by sheegurrseagull
Summary: When fighting over a carton of milk at 2:30AM led to many other things. *wink*. Her eyes darted to the god's face then to the carton of milk. This only meant one thing. WAR. Yatori. oneshot.


**The Art of Fighting Over a Carton of Milk**

 **Summary:** When fighting over a carton of milk at 2:30AM led to many other things. *wink*. Her eyes darted to the god's face then to the carton of milk. This only meant one thing. WAR.

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own Noragami. (And the joke about Pringles somewhere in the story, I just had to use it)

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With his teeth chattering, his body shivering and his arms wrapped round himself- Yato stood there, painstakingly trying to weather through the cold- pitiful… doesn't even begin to cover it. "...Kofuku? Yukine? Daikoku-sama? Let me in? pleaseee, I'll never crave for milk again and do ' _you know what'_." he pleaded, his other hand coming up to rap the wooden door but, take note, it wasn't just any wooden door, Yato here has dubbed it as: The door to heaven. Why must he suffer outside while they were enjoying the comforts of the heater? The answer lies in him being a douche, apparently. He found it baffling how they consider him the suspect. It was hardly his fault, it was his regalia's fault for failing as a guidepost! Why? Well because Yukine should've been there to stop him from conning green bills out of Kofuku to buy milk! The money was just so tempting, add that to his desire to quench his thirst with cool milk. And bam, Yato basically drooled at the mere mental images… He stopped, or maybe it was his fault… bah! It clearly isn't, he was a god and anything gods do are considered right. He nodded to himself but wavered, his eyes tearing slightly. That still doesn't change the fact that he was here, all alone, in the middle of the cold, cruel and dark night. He sniffed, he'll just have to make do tonight and head for the old geezer Tenjin's shrine.

…

He laid there on the shrine's steps, his eyes following snowflakes as they slowly glide towards the cold ground. To his eyes, the buildup of snow on the cement seemed like a fluffy bed. A bed so fluffy he could sink in it and sleep without any disturbance. He whimpered, were his "friends" enjoying the warm futon? Or better yet, a large and soft bed? Damn, he'd sell his soul to Izanami for that. A groan escaped his lips as he twisted and turned, it was probably 2:30 now and he still found it hard to sleep. He could list so many reasons as to why rest was elusive tonight:

1\. He was cold.  
2\. It was too silent  
3\. And three…

 _Grumble._

Yato was hungry. Again, the thought of Izanami crossed his mind (never mind the fact that she looked a lot like Hiyori, he gulped), or rather, the heaps of food the god offered him and Ebisu. The smell of roast chicken, the hot broth of ramen, the unique flavor of sushi, the bittersweet taste of coffee or even better, MILK! It may be cold tonight but still, today, milk held a special place in his heart. The other week it was coffee, Monday- natto, yesterday- peanuts and today… milk. He licked his lips involuntarily, yup, he'll sell his soul for that right now. The self-proclaimed god of fortune sighed and closed his eyes again, in hopes to finally be blessed with the sweet release of sleep.

 _Grumble._

Ok that was it! He stood up and stretched. ' _I'll find myself food even if I have to go beg!'_ he smirked and added an afterthought ' _Or I can just go steal a little bit of Tenjin's donations. BWAHAHAHAHA'_

And so the idiot for a god successfully stole the money and headed to the greatest place on earth for food seekers: the convenience store.

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Hiyori didn't know what possessed her to get up from bed at 2:30 in the morning, wear a cardigan, slip comfy flip-flops on and head to the large convenience store a couple of blocks away from her house in her jammies. To anyone passing by, she must've looked like a ghost of a girl who died because of sleepwalking. Who wouldn't when she sported disheveled hair and had dried drool on her face? Her feet seemed to be moving on its own accord and was leading her through the empty freezing streets by instinct. She could vaguely remember checking their fridge for food but alas, there was none. Ugh, she should've eaten dinner... she should've listened to her parents to restock on the groceries. So now apparently, it was her stomach's plea that caused this little _mornight_ escapade.

A few minutes passed and there it was, in all its bright and gleaming glory: the convenience store. She pushed the doors open and immediately she was taken into a world full of boring cashiers, air conditioners, and more importantly, instant food. Instant food- the light in every lazy person's darkness. Hiyori knew she was being poetic, but how can't you be? There's food! Her mouth watered at the thought of finally eating. She skipped towards the MSG filled chips section and grabbed a Pringles (the only chip company who sells actual chips and not air), next she skipped towards the chocolates section, the sandwich section and finally, the beverage section. She closed her eyes as she took her time in getting to the aisle,

' _What do I want? Cola? Juice? Water?'_ she licked her lips, the light bulb in her brain coming to life…

"Milk."

Hiyori giggled and scanned row after row after row of liquids when finally she found it, her eyes lit up. Good thing she was the only one here, for there stood the lone carton of milk. She chuckled and pitied whoever the person that'll miss acquiring the last carton of milk. Giddy, her hand came up to reach the said dairy goodness when another hand tugged it. She froze. Her eyes followed the oppressor's hand and…

"Yato?!"

"Hiyori?!"

Her eyes darted to the god's face then to carton of milk. This only meant one thing. WAR.

She tightened the grip on the carton of milk and rose her eyebrow. "So… What brings you here? Yato?"

Yato eyed her, his hand twisting to try to pry the carton of milk from her hands. "Oh nothing, just out for a stroll. You know me, always FIT" with the last word, he tried to pull it, unfortunately Hiyori's grip tightened further.

Hiyori tried to smile sweetly at him, her lips curling up venomously, "And what might you be buying?" she inched closer.

The blue-eyed god, cracked his jaw and rolled his neck. "Stuff." He answered before adding, "You know, you should consider dropping that smile of yours, it's giving me diabetes." He hissed, dropping all the chips he held, both his hands now grasping at the carton.

Hiyori seethed and huffed, "That's good then. I was hoping you'd die so there'd be no competition, Yaboku." She glared and followed suit, all her things falling to the floor. "I suggest you stop what you're attempting or else..."

"Or what, pink hag? I need this carton of milk!" Yato yelled, his hand forcefully tugging at the carton. Hiyori scoffed, if he thought it was going to be that easy then… Yato's eyes widened, his body quickly performing evasive tactics as Hiyori's leg came up to kick said god. "Quit playing dirty, crazy she-monster." Yato's voice wavered as Hiyori dealt kick after kick, his skinny ass barely keeping up.

"And this 'she-monster' has already dug your grave! Give the up the dairy goodness and I'll stop pummeling you, you homeless buttwipe!" she growled, the attacks seemingly unending. Yato tried to pry her fingers off the beverage, only to be clawed by the recently dubbed 'monster', "Then just give the pitiful 'homeless buttwipe' the milk for charity!"

Hiyori gritted her teeth, there was only one thing to do now. She gave Yato her coldest of glares then kicked him right on the head. She laughed when his grip grew lax, his hands coming to cradle his head. Immediately, Hiyori ran the opposite direction before turning back and sticking her tongue out at Yato. "Yeah, like hell I will. HAHA!"

The god readjusted his scarf and tightened the zipper of his jersey. If it's a fight she wants? Then it's a fight she'll get. With that thought, he dashed for Hiyori. His speed leaving destruction in its wake. " _Clean up on isle five!"_ Yup, they'll be in trouble after this silly chase. He stopped when his eye caught the edges of Hiyori's cardigan. Yato's face suddenly turned into that signature cat-like grin of his. You're dead meat, girl!

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It was good thing that Yato was nowhere in sight, Hiyori didn't think she could run another mile in her condition. Even though the store had air conditioners, at the rate she was running, her bangs stuck to her forehead and her clothes to skin. Her breathes came in heaves and she had her hands grasping the shelves for support. Her eyes surveyed the cashiers, a sigh escaping from her lips when the god of mayhem was indeed nowhere near there. She grinned triumphantly, her goal just a mere foot away. But before she could even take a single step forward, something heavy landed behind. Hiyori and the assailant landed with an _Oof_ on the cold ground.

' _What the heck?!'_ she turned her body, and met with blue eyes, the color drained from her face and her mouth hung agape as she stared at the grinning bastard… ' _I'm dead'_ Hiyori quickly scrambled forward, clutching the precious carton of milk in her hands. Although, the moment she did so, rough hands grasped her waist. The air was knocked out of Hiyori when she was carried like a sack of rice over Yato's shoulder.

"Put me down, Yato!" Hiyori pounded on his shoulder, by now they were attracting attention from the nocturnal people around them, Hiyori grew alarmed and blushed a deep beet red when she saw some people looking at them weirdly, even a couple of geezers were looking at Yato like he just won first place. But what really made her heart beat quicken were the words she heard a couple of ladies whisper: Young Love. What was so lovable about being tossed over the shoulder and being treated like a bag of produce? Hiyori only sighed and stopped resisting, this was it, she lost to Yato.

' _Might as well give up.'_

… _sigh_ …

… _sigh…_

… _sigh…_

Her eyes turned into dots, a creepy smile climbing its way to her lips… ' _Or is it?'_

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Yato had a stupidly happy grin on his face as he snatched the carton off of Hiyori's hands with ease. It wasn't an easy task getting to this point but damn did it feel so good. Not only did it alleviate his boredom, it also gifted him with HIS precious milk. Right- HIS CARTON OF DAIRY. The god's eyes turned to stars when images of drinking it passed through his mind. If Yato was told yesterday that milk could be addicting, the thought would be laughed at and brushed off, but now… he begged to differ.

Stop.

Yato's train of thought was immediately halted when he felt soft hands rub against his back. His eyes almost closed with the feeling of comfort it brought with it. Before he knew it, his legs might as well have turned jelly.

"Yato…." He heard her whisper

"Hi-Hiyori?" his voice quivered, kami knows why, it just did.

"Yato? Can you put me down?" He turned his head away from her, using his other hand to shield his crimson face. Why was she talking so… seductively? "O-of course not! I-f I did, WAH!" He yelped when he felt warm breath on his neck. Was it just him or did they turn the air conditioners off? "A-as I was saying. No. Be-because I-if I did, you m-might run away wi-with my m-milk!" Yato could barely keep his voice steady as the evil girl atop his shoulder continued rubbing her palms on his back, going lower every time he spoke.

"Please?" It was so contradictory when he felt his face grow warm and his body turn to ice. Just the sound of her voice like THIS was doing wonders to his imagination and motor skills. He lowered his head, "Li-like I said earlier, no, Hiyori. I'll o-only put you down whe-when I've already bo-bought a-and dru-drunk the milk."

"Mou mou. Didn't you say that I was heavy just the other day? It would be easier for you if you put me down. I care about you, remember that." Yato's blush deepened, he could almost hear her smile and pout with each word, he needed to stop her but she wasn't listening. What was he to do? He grit his teeth. But before he even registered the thought, he had already put the girl down.

"Now wasn't that easy, Yato? One more favor to ask of you, dear kami-sama… can I have the milk?" Her hands reached up to his head. This time, she brushed the hair out of his eyes. Yato held his breath, wasn't this the part where he was supposed to say words like 'Hell no' or 'In your dreams' or 'Not a chance'? Sweat continued to trickle down his body as his vision grew hazy from the continuation of Hiyori's ministrations. Each time he said 'No', she didn't seem to back down and only continued to touch and caress him. There was no escape from this woman, it seemed. The hair on his arms rose when she touched and ran her soft fingers on his neck, again, his imagination grew wild with images of her and-. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

"Please? Can I have the milk?" He opened his mouth to speak, only to realize that... he can't. Maybe, he forgot because of what Hiyori was doing. The way she ran her hands down his arms was so intoxicating, it killed him.

"Ya-bo-ku"

 _BAM_

The milk. It was supposed to be his, he fought for it, he wanted it. And yet, how could he just hand it over to his competitor? Was it because of the way her hands touched him and how her breaths sent shivers down his spine? Was it because he couldn't hold it in? Was it because of how she whispered his real name? Maybe it was all of the above. Whatever it was… it made him feel primal. His blue eyes glanced at the girl in front of him. ' _I don't think I want the milk anymore.'_

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Hiyori couldn't take the silence that accompanied their walk home. It was as if Yato's mood turned from "Ultra super mega happy" to "I'm gloomy and there's something wrong. Help me." She faced him and stopped.

"Ne, ne. Yato if you wanted the milk so bad, then here, you can have it. You're ruining my "Ultra super mega happy" atmosphere." She outstretched the carton of milk at him, she never knew he was a sore loser. By now, she thought he'd already be used to it. "Here, Yato. Anything to turn that frown upside down!" she laughed, expecting that the god would immediately smile and snatch it right out of her hands. Hiyori's brows only furrowed when Yato did absolutely nothing but glance at the milk before training his eyes straight ahead, his hands coming up to rest itself inside his jersey pockets.

' _Something is definitely up and I'm going to the bottom of it.'_ Hiyori thought, stuffing the milk back into the plastic bag. ' _Maybe he's upset because I won the milk? Then why didn't he steal it from me? Why didn't he take it when I was readily giving it to him? Maybe because in the end he didn't get to buy anything. Maybe that's it?'_ She pouted.

"I can just give you some of the chips I bought if you're THAT hungry." She nudged him with her shoulder, hoping for something, anything that might signal that he was okay. A sigh escaped her lips as she proceeded to walk in front of him when all the response she could get was a grunt.

' _Okay, so it wasn't that. If it wasn't that then what?'_ Her eyes glanced behind her, ' _Yato doesn't look like he's depressed…'_ Hiyori's eyes ran down and examined the god's face as they walked through the streets. _'He doesn't look like he's angry or bored or hungry or disheartened or…'_ Hiyori's eyes widened. He didn't look like the Yato she knew, he looked like…

"The God of Calamity." At this, Yato immediately teared his stare away from the pavement and looked the girl dead in the eye. Hiyori grew stiff, the way he stared at her with those piercing blue eyes was feral. It was raw in a way that made her hair stand on end and her heart quicken its beating, although she wasn't sure if it was because of her growing nervousness or that other feeling. Hiyori didn't realize it when they finally stopped, all she knew was that she was sweating under Yato's gaze and that the silence was deafening. Neither was speaking, Hiyori knew she can't. Don't count on her on that field when Yato was well, like THIS! She gulped, as the seconds ticked by and her good night's sleep was being traded for this… staring contest? Hiyori opened her mouth, she was planning to say that it was about time they walked and rest but…

"Let's-" She hesitated, her hands coiling into knuckles. Her throat was dry and the pressure was just so unbearably thick she felt it looming in on her. When the male before her took a step forward, she felt her own body going back. His eyes, it was making her feel like she was being dragged into a deep blue pool. And against the dark surroundings, it seemed all the more striking. Her mouth opened as she took a quick inhale of breath. Yato took another step forward, his sapphire eyes never straying from hers.

"Ya-yat…." Hiyori couldn't say his name, she didn't know why. She had no trouble saying it before but now, under his scrutiny, she couldn't. She froze as her back hit the wall of a nearby building.

"Hiyori, do you seriously not know just how much you affect me?" He whispered. His voice, rough. Hiyori's breath caught when Yato entrapped her between his arms and ran his finger across her jaw.

"Y-Yato…" She looked up his piercing blue eyes, the playful yet predatory smirk on his lips making her heart skip a beat. What affected Yato? What was the answer to his questi-… Hiyori's blush deepened, this was because of earlier…. "Yato, wh-what a-are you doing?"

The god chuckled and brushed her smooth raven hair from her face "Why, I'm only returning the favor, Hiyori-chan. Wasn't this what you were doing earlier?" Hiyori blushed, her head turning away from him. "Now now, don't look away, Hiyori-chan." Yato chuckled, tilting her chin up with his hand. "You should've remembered not to mess with the god of calamity."

"I-I should've?"

"Yes, you should've." He said huskily as his hands gently took strands of her hair and brought it to his lips, he yearned for it. Maybe with this Yato could satiate his hunger and the ache of his lips to touch hers. They looked blue, contrary to what most novels say when one stares. Of course, it was because of the cold December air. He wondered if by kissing her, it would look more crimson, pinker, just like her eyes.

"Ne Hiyori? Are you cold?" he asked, his fingers leaving hot traces on her neck. Yato almost chuckled at the sight. She was blushing. She was beautiful. Did he only recently feel this or has he been feeling it from the moment they locked gazes? Has he been pushing it away because the feeling was so foreign to him? So many questions with no answers.

She looked at him and tilted hear head. The silly question, so out of place from the atmosphere. "What? Uhh, I kinda a-"

"Can I kiss you?" He, without warning, brought his face closer to hers. Hiyori's eyes widened, red creeping upon her cheeks. Yato chuckled. He couldn't control it, her pull was too great and he was just a mere man. In front of Hiyori, Yato wasn't a god, he was a human. The girl made him feel human, his lack of chaste proved that. He smirked, who even told anyone that he had self-control? Maybe for other petite things, but when it came to the blushing girl he had pinned, the god had no control to spare.

As the night continued to pass, Yato's desire only burned more, it reached into the deepest crevices of his existence, erupting in its depths a feeling of pleasure. Hiyori felt it too, when the god inched another centimeter closer. He was testing if she would pull back, she could still reject him, although the god won't guarantee if anything or anyone in the vicinity would remain unscathed.

 _Closer._

Hiyori knew she could still escape from him, it was obvious. She should, but did she want to? That was the question, and Yato found it amusing.

 _Closer_

They both felt it, the tug. The silent plea of their subconscious.

"Ya- Yabo- Yaboku…" Hearing his real name from the girl's lips sent yet another wave of electricity through his skin. He stopped, their lips were so close now and it threw both their hearts into chaos. The sound roared through Yato's ears, she was right here, and yet...

So close that the he could feel the heat emanating from her skin despite the cold. Through his half-lidded eyes, Yato observed her, the way her lashes brushed upon her cheeks whenever she blinked, the blush that crept on her cheeks when she was embarrassed, and the way her breaths caressed his lips. Now that she was so close, it took all of his energy not to close the small gap between them and let his beast free. Even then, when Hiyori would smile, laugh and approach him- he knew he had to reign his emotions in because he didn't want to hurt her. And now because of all that pent up frustration, depravity was finally let loose. A catalyst was the only thing it needed, but Hiyori had given that earlier.

The sweet catalyst.

"Hiyori… can I kiss you?" again he whispered, the question was suspended in the air. Yato looked at Hiyori, waiting in bated breath. She wasn't responding, maybe she didn't want to after all. A sigh escaped his lips, again, he had to hold back. His eyes, averted from hers, the disappointment spreading through his stomach. ' _For her…'_

"Yes."

With that one word Yato's world spun, his head immediately snapped back to face her. Was this real? His heart fluttered when he was faced with a smiling Hiyori, even more so when she raised her hand to caress his face. Yato obliged and finally caved in when he felt her pull him closer.

The god and girl's lips met and immediately, they were lost.

Earlier, their hearts only craved for the feeling, but now, it has been satisfied.

Yato has been depraved of it for so long and the questions piled up in his mind, but now, they were all answered. Just because of this kiss, his mind was put at ease.

So was Hiyori's. When they met, she only thought of him as a brother and a friend but gradually the feeling grew and it placed burden on her shoulders. For who was she? She was just a lowly half-phantom and he, a god. He had a long life and if she were to love him. It was bound to end in a tragedy. Wait…

Love?

Has the simple infatuation finally blossomed into such a strong emotion? Her mind whirled, a storm forming in the pit of her stomach as they both kissed and tasted the other.

She thought with a smile, ' _Yup, it's jolly old love, alright.'_

The god and the girl cursed when they both had to come up for air. Their breaths were ragged and their lungs cried for air, but still, a smile played on both of their lips. Yato held her close, afraid that if he were to let go all of this would vanish and he would wake up, drunk, in Kofuku's home.

Yes, drunk would be the perfect word to describe his state. The aftermath made him feel woozy and unstable, as if he just downed a whole bottle of sake. He looked at her, itt al seemed so surreal and too good. He wondered if it was all a part of his imagination, but when she placed a peck on his cheeks, his heart soared. It wasn't a dream after all.

Hiyori couldn't control the blush on her cheeks, Yato was looking at her like… she didn't exactly had words to describe it but it made her feel like she was flying. Thoughts of their exchange a moment ago worsened the crimson paint on her cheeks. She looked down and covered her face with a hand, Hiyori suddenly understood why the ladies at the convenience store were whispering: Young love.

"Ya... Uhh, Yato?" she stuttered.

"Hmm?"

"Uhh… one question. You didn't do it for the milk, did you?" She slowly looked back at the god and felt the romantic atmosphere immediately get broken when her eyes landed on the god's hand.

HE WAS HOLDING THE CARTON OF MILK

"Yato?! DID. YOU. DO. IT. FOR. THE. MILK?!" Yato laughed as Hiyori balled her fists, "Because if you did, pray to Amaterasu now! I'll be sending you back to the underworld, and I swear, I won't call you back anymore!" The god laughed more, watching her as she chased after him, her claws barred.

"Come back here, YATO! LET ME RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!"

He stuck her tongue at her and stopped, pulling Hiyori to him, "Of course I didn't, Stupid." He held her and placed a kiss on her cheek.

Hiyori blushed and put a hand to the spot where Yato had pecked her. The warmth immediately spreading through her body as he hugged her to his chest. Her heartbeat, once more, pounded in her. She never knew the god, who was usually so goofy, could have this incredibly sweet side to him.

"Besides…" Hiyori looked up at the sound of Yato's voice, watching as he intertwined their fingers. "You're better than milk anyway."

::::

The day after that, they both found themselves in the same situation.

"Give me the milk, YATO!"

"No way!"

"But you said i was better than milk!"

"You are!"

"Then give it to me!"

"I said milk. not chocolate milk! SUCKS TO BE YOU, OLD HAG! BWAHAHA!"

Fighting over a carton of milk.

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 **AN:** Hihihi, wrote this because of only one reason… because I, too, wanted to quench my thirst with MILK. Feel free to mail some to me… or not. Also, I gathered all the cheese in the world for this (help me escape the French, I beg you).

OK, SORRY ABOUT THOSE POOR ATTEMPTS AT HUMOR, SPARE ME!

Please do review, I luv 'em more than milk! (Uhh, maybe no? milk is supreme! But still, review and stuff! :D) Thanks for reading :)


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